Quarter Beers

It was a Friday afternoon in college, and we were at our favorite local fraternity-sorority bar. It was quarter beer afternoon, and the place was deserted. There were maybe three other customers in the bar. My fiancé and I were hanging out and getting soused. He was the Vice President of his Fraternity and his fraternity President, best bud, and future roommate was bartending. I was the little sorority good girl that he was dating.

I thought the sun rose and set around this boy. I was twenty years old and in love for the very first time. I was an upstanding member of my sorority, volunteered with a fraternal youth group, a fraternal ladies organization, and held offices in both my sorority and the local sorority governing board.  I was the consummate good girl. I worked three jobs while in school, and had a precious entire afternoon off and alone, drinking with my dude. Not only was he my first love and the first man that asked me to marry him, he was my first partner that encouraged sexual exploration.

There was a guy that lived upstairs from my fiancé in his fraternity house, that had an entire porn library. One night my guy casually mentioned borrowing a dirty movie from the upper classman upstairs. I am getting ahead of myself.

Now up to this point, I had mainly had straight up vanilla sex. Penis in the vagina sex.  As I fumbled through my first relationships and sexual encounters, I learned that I like sex.  I liked it a lot! I lost my virginity under my parents Christmas Tree, after family dinner one night. I was ready, and he was eager and not so spectacular. Then I had a series of college girl one night stands and a few boyfriends. More straight up vanilla sex. Except that one time on the pool table at a fraternity house with a big time university football player. In  the room next to a wild fraternity party. But that is a story for another day.

So my fiancé took the initiative of borrowing a couple of porn films. As we watched the first one, I admitted that I had never given a blowjob before. He was eager to volunteer to be my porn education dummy. I watched the beautiful, self confident women onscreen, and receive the finest fellatio education a girl can receive. As I watched these women, I realized that they actually loved giving head. The art of sucking a man's cock is truly an art form, and can be thoroughly enjoyable. Needless to say, I became a fellatio aficionado.

Back to the greek bar and getting soused. I was four things that afternoon; soused, completely enamored of my first love, hot and horny, and feeling ornery. I was leaning against my fiancé when the beer distributor arrived and sat down around the corner of the little bar from us. I was feeling ornery and suddenly had the burning desire to give the object of my affection the thrill ride of his life.

 I whispered what I wanted to do in his ear, and he said no. I kept pestering him to let me give him a blow job right there at the bar, on our stools, directly in front of the front door, while his future roomie was behind the bar, and the beer distributor(a former fraternity brother) was not five feet from us. I don't know what came over me, but I was a woman possessed. I cooed and kissed and wiled my way into him saying yes. I would have done anything to please this man. I wanted to feel his ten and a half inch cock in my throat. I want to milk every last suppressed moan that threatened to burst forth, from him. I wanted to swallow him alive. I wanted to feel the power in my mouth, running down the back of my throat. I wanted to give him a blow job as I pretended to be  passed out in his lap. At the bar, under the counter, in front of the door, next to his people, in the open bar, with the thrill of being caught doing dirty deeds in a public place floating in the air.....

And so I did. At the bar, under the counter, in front of the door, next to his people, in the open bar that Friday afternoon at quarter beers.

Torn

I am furious right now.  Hysterically furious.  I was home alone, after my daughter left for kindergarten and my husband left for work, when she called.  The bitch.  The one person in this world who can turn my eternally cheery disposition into a hateful bitchy one in ten seconds flat. One sentence is all it takes. The mother in law.

First, some background.  I am that annoyingly cheerful person, that peeves others with my eternal sunshiny-ness. I am also a cry baby and cry at everything.  To quote Bette Midler in Beaches," I feel deeply." Yep, that's me. Miss Cheerful with a heart of gold, but I also have that don't fuck with me or mine side to me as well. Well Mine were just threatened. 

I have been having a hard time with my only biological daughter starting Kindergarten.  I cried through the first couple of days, have taken her to school and picked her up everyday, got to be the first to hear about her day, and I am OK now.  Sort of.  I have made the decision to go back to work , because my family needs me to. We are not in the same position we were in, when the decision was made for me to stay at home. So I have sucked it up and dealt with the fact that someone else will be picking my child up after school.  Someone else will be hearing all about her day first.  I am still crying over that one, but I am actively seeking employment. 

Tonight is the first night of my baby's first ever dance class.  I am sentimental over it because she has begged to start taking dance lessons for a couple of years now, and I took dancing for ten years.  SO big day today.  That has been planned for three weeks.

I am also a mother of heart to my husband's two children from his two previous marriages.  I have loved our(his) kids like they were my own.  I have treated the big kids like they were my own.  All kids that come from broken homes generally have some issues.  Well my two big kids(twenty one and nineteen)are no different. Today were going to talk about the oldest one.

The female twenty one year old has had a lot going on in her life.  She has a history of obsessive compulsive, anxiety, manic-depressive and bi-polar disorders, that she gets from a combination of both my husband, and her Grandmother.  Said woman helped raise the child when the child was in the middle of the divorces, helped when my husband got sole custody from the bio-mom due to new spouse beating baby to within several inches of her life, and always looked at her as the daughter she never had.  To a fault.  She spoiled her horribly(to a fault), always played favorites with her over her brother, and acts as if a crime has been committed if you don't do exactly what she thinks you should do, where the daughter(ours not hers) is concerned. This multiple personality mother in law refused to leave my home, started hitting me(I made it a point not to hit my so's mother back, just this once) and I had to call the cops on her to have her removed because she was so hysterical, one time when I told her she could not take the child because she was angry. I was afraid she would have a wreck with the daughter in the car.  She was battering me with a barrage of questions about discipline for "her" baby, and I answered wrong, which infuriated her. She had just dropped off the child after school, and was so pissed she was determined to take the child back with her.  Mind you she lived with us, but MPMIL(read all about my MPMIL here-  The Multiple Personality Mother In Law)way overstepped her boundaries, and it was time to let her know that her behavior was not acceptable! She had and has a horrible habit of pointing out what a shitty dad my husband was, although he was not the monster she made him out to be. Every parent makes mistakes, but to have your own mother point out how horrible you are in front of your own kids, in order to make herself look like the perfect grandparent, in my book was unacceptable.  So I called her on it, and made the mistake of pointing out that we didn't want her to end up like her deadbeat mom who never made an effort to call, write, visit, etc, and was soley dependant on some man in an abusive marriage to support her. Totally wrong thing to say, but she had started talking crap about the dad.  Not in my house. It was one of two times I ever opened my mouth regarding the ex wives.  I think the MPMIL down's her sons parenting in an attempt to feel better about her own shitty parenting example.  She had five marriages, which were always more important than her kid, moved in with her new husband and left her son in a house to pay a mortgage at fifteen, saying there was not room in their apartment for him.(The step dad also moved in with his girlfriend, leaving hub alone) She blew pot smoke in his face, almost accidentally killed him several times, etc. You get the picture.  My husband got divorced twice.  He was not there sometimes, he was young and trying to make a living.  Now when I came along at age 8, he instantly became a much more attentive parent. Anyway, now you have the history.

So my oldest was hospitalized on a few days ago with suicidal thoughts. She is single for the first time, living on her own, doing well in her job, but she is not making very much money and cannot pay her bills.  She also sold her car to the ex-boyfriend.  She has also been trying to deal with her illnesses without her medications.  She is very smart, and has been seeing a therapist.  She knew enough to get help when she was in over her head.  She can  only have two visitors at a time, where she is staying, and she asked for me to come, last night when my husband was visiting. I was so excited she wanted to see me. 

Then I realized, it was my baby daughter's first day of dance class. Man, why me universe? We have recently gotten a little bit closer, after a short period of distance.  Her inner psyche I think, will only let her be "ok" and on good terms with one "mom" type figure at a time.  I have been the one lately.  She always has to have anger with and disassociate with the others to a point, while she is in good with whichever one she chooses at a particular moment in time.

How do I choose? It's tearing me up.  I desperately want to be both places at once. My husband advised me to go tomorrow.  Well when the MPMIL(multiple personality  mother in law) called to ask me if I was going with her, I advised her of my baby's first dance class.  And of the fact that my husband advised me to go tomorrow, because he is working late, due to vacations and could not take the baby. Her response was," Well how are you paying for that? Alright, I guess I'll just tell her you had other plans!"

Speechless, right? Yeah, me too.  This woman is so jealous that she wants to see anyone but her, she would sabotage my oldest's already precarious well being.  I could just scream at her, and smack her! And all the other useless things I could think of to do to her. But instead(being the calm non-confrontational person that I am), I calmly replied, your son was suppose to talk to you about it, but he did not think you would be out of bed yet! He suggested that I come tomorrow. She replied,"Well we'll see." Fucking bitch right there.

See she always has to be the center of attention, at everyone else's expense. I absolutely cannot believe the nerve of her! The problem is that there is only one visiting hour, the exact same hour as Monday dance class. Gggrrr.

So I am torn.  Which daughter do I choose? I can honestly say I have never been at this particular mothering crossroads before. I cannot stop crying about it.  Either way I am letting somebody down. One appointment is at 5:30, twenty minutes from my house in one direction, and the other is twenty minutes from my house in the opposite direction at the exact same time.  The first ever first dance class, or the first time my oldest asked for me to visit her in the hospital? The oldest may not ask again, if I do not go tonight, and especially if MPMIL puts a sinister spin on it.  That could take months to repair, if she ever forgives me. Or if I visit tomorrow, it may all be fine, she will be there for at least a week, if not longer. The first dance class my baby has been looking forward to, where all the mommies take pictures, and can watch the first class, and not having her mommy there taking pictures too, when I take pictures of her every day?

So who do I choose? I am so very torn...alternately crying and angry at my MPMIL I could spit nails.

Blogging Divas-Episode #1

Hello fellow Vent Liners! I have a surprise for you! I am starting a new installment series called Blogging Divas.  It is the blogging version of Real Housewives. Each installment will feature a warring, feuding, offended, bitchy, heated, blogging two or threesome duking it out on the web! The first one is a doozy!

A very opinionated blogger wrote a post that she felt very passionately and seemingly one sided about. We were lucky enough to stumble upon this jewel while surfing the web! Following is her post.

 

* Names have been blacked out to protect the , ahem, sinners*...we shall call Bloggy Diva #1-Holier Than Thou Heather...

* Photo by brucefong.wordpress.com* 

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

ABORTIONS VS LIFE

I DONT SUPPORT ABORTIONS.

 

THAT'S KILLING.

 

1st Time I heard about abortions was in a health occupation class I was in. The teacher who was a nurse explained to us how this procedure happened and all. Once she was done we were all in tears.

 

I havent ever had a child of my own before but I still have a heart. A beating heart inside of me and I have a mind also that tells me killing is wrong and abortions are wrong.

 

It's wrong on so many levels. There's a living soul inside of a person and you're gonna kill it. IT'S FUCKING WRONG.

 

 

I'm at a loss of words really that people want to make abortions legal and think it's ok to abort at week 20.

 

 

I looked up what happens at Week 20 and this is what I found.

(***Babycenter animated video of fetal development***)

 

Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. He's also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — about the size of a banana. (For the first 20 weeks, when a baby's legs are curled up against his torso and hard to measure, measurements are taken from the top of his head to his bottom — the "crown to rump" measurement. After 20 weeks, he's measured from head to toe.)

He's swallowing more these days, which is good practice for his digestive system. He's also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. This gooey substance will accumulate in his bowels, and you'll see it in his first soiled diaper (some babies pass meconium in the womb or during delivery).

This is after 20 weeks but just the thought of someone killing a precious angel inside of the womb and just killing it period brings tears to my eyes.

 

How can women have abortions?

What goes thru their minds and thru their heads?

THIS IS THE DEVIL

 

This is not the kind of people we want running our country by no means.

 

When the U.S. is for Abortion? When he's for killing a human being? A living thing inside of another living thing?

 

SOMETHING IS FUCKING WRONG HERE!

 

Hell he has a wife and a 2 daughters and he's for fucking abortion.

 

and he studders the whole time during the video that I watched where a preacher asked him about it.

 

How can so many people Support someone who's for Abortion?

 

THIS SHIT MAKES ME FURIOUS.

 

You want something killed.

 

KILLED THESE IDIOTS WHO THINK KILLING A UNBORN CHILD IS RIGHT.

 

That's what you call people who believe in the Devil and dont believe in God.

Who live for the devil and not for God.

 

Who thinks the devil should rule the world and not GOD!

 

Holier Than Thou Heather*

 

                    *********************************************************************                                     Here is the response from Bloggy Diva #2-Holy Holly... 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                            Dear Holier Than Thou Heather*:

 

I wasn't going to comment, but I can't really get this post off my mind. You've stated many times since I've been reading your blog that you are going to state your mind and only want friends who do the same. I hope you really meant that. Here are my personal thoughts on this post.

 

I can see why abortion is such a hard thing to understand. It's a horrible choice to have to make. I've been in the place to consider making this choice; I was a pregnant 16-year-old whose boyfriend insisted she get an abortion or go without his help. That's an agonizing place to be. Ultimately, I was lucky because my parents supported me and I had the luxury of making the "easy" decision to continue my pregnancy and become a mother.

 

At nearly the same time I was making that decision, a friend was making the other decision. The HARD one; the one where you don't really know if you'll regret it for the rest of your life or if you will be grateful that you had the option and access to a safe abortion. That decision she was making certainly wasn't an easy one, but it was hers to make. It wasn't mine to make, it wasn't yours to make and it certainly wasn't a stranger in Washington (or anywhere else) to make.

 

You ask "How can women have abortions?" and "What goes thru their minds and thru their heads?"  I think that women have abortions because it is the right (and sometimes only) decision in THEIR LIFE.  Some women make the choice because of their life circumstances, some because of their own health, some because of the health of the child they carry, some because of the circumstances under which they became pregnant, or the point in their lives when they became pregnant.

I don't really have an answer for your second question, but I'm saddened by the fact that you seem to believe that women who choose abortion have something wrong with them or are possessed by the devil.  I'm saddened that you seem to think that anyone, including our president, who supports abortion is possessed by the devil.

I support abortion.  I support a woman's right to choose for herself what is right for her, her body, and her health.  I do not believe that I, you, or anyone else has the right to restrict access to abortion if that is the decision a woman is making for herself.  It's not the choice I would make, but I don't believe that it's my place to make decisions for anyone other than myself.  I believe that even if abortion were outlawed it would continue to exist (as it always has) but would be more dangerous and more expensive.  I believe outlawing abortion will not save lives.  I do not believe abortion is about someone WANTING "something killed".

If you genuinely believe that by taking this stance I "live for the devil and not for God", I would hope that instead of calling for my murder and calling me an idiot that you would pray for me and pray for everyone who thinks like me.  I would hope that instead of thinking it's OK to call for the murder of anyone who thinks like me that you would pray to God to help you understand us.  I think that's what a true follower of Christ would do.  The Bible tells us to leave the judgment of fellow man to God.  Are you a follower of the Bible and of Christ?  The bible COMMANDS us to love one another as God has loved us.  Is that what you're doing here?

 

I hope that you will read my words and that they will soften your heart.  I do not desire to change your stance on abortion; I believe you have the right to believe it is wrong.  Just as I have the right to believe as I do.

 

With much love and respect,

Holy Holly*

 

 So dear readers, who do you agree with? Who won round #1? We are dying to hear your opinions! Please leave a comment with your thoughts...and stay tuned for Episode #2 Tomorrow, of Blogging Divas! As the saga continues....

 

 

*Photo by denimdevotion.wordpress.com*

 



Who won Round #1?

 

***All copyrighted works are properly attributed to their respective authors on http://www.mychillthoughts.com/ where you can read all about this battle in its entirety. ***

 

 

The Royals-We Snapped Photo Challenge

NomNom (food), Sunsets, Clouds, and Toes

NomNom(favorite restaurant)

 

Sunsets(Father's Day on the Island)

 

Clouds(on the Island)

 

Little Toes(at the pool)

 



The Royals-We Snapped Photo Challenge

.  Today I am participating in, The Royals- We Snapped Photo Challenge. 

 

Shadow, Forgotten, Texture, and Reflection are today's words. 

 

 So here goes!

 

Shadow

 

 

Reflection

 

 

Forgotten

 

 

Texture

 

 

 

Have a great day! MUAH!

 

Kindergarten Registration

Does anyone else out there have a work-a-holic husband? Well I do!  I love him. I love that he works hard enough for our family, so that I get to stay home with my daughter.  That is a luxury that few are afforded these days.  But I am in Bit@# mode at the moment.  I have asked for over a month, and reminded him that Kindergarten registration is coming up.  I have reminded him of the date, and let him know in no uncertain terms, that he is expected to attend.  His response is more like what I would expect to get if I asked him to build a gadget to shrink the moon, and get it for me, a la the movie, Despicable Me. Back to this argument in a few minutes.

He and his mother have been trying to convince me to home school my youngest child.  She is the last one , the baby.  They have been waging a war against me, including the immunization battle.  The MIL even checked into paying for private school for said child, only to find it was akin to paying for breast implants! For kindergarten! So she scratched that idea!  She dove me batshit crazy about the immunizations, until I called our pediatrician, and the health department to question if they could get the shots without mercury in them. She had heard, and read, and saw on tv, and , and, and out the wazoo, until she bestowed upon herself a degree from WebMD in immunizology! At the pediatrician's office, they had never even heard of such a thing. Or given that option from their supplier! Seriously MIL, you weren't such a hot shot as a mom, quit trying to micromanage my kid!  So if I home school ,she doesn't have to have the shots, etc.  ARGH! Good grief!  Oh and I forgot one of the funniest things!  She said that you want to take every precaution with the child, because when a child is already pre-dispositioned to having autism, you just wan t to be extra careful, and do everything you can to prevent it "happening".  WTF? Seriously? If the good lord above meant for my child to have autism, then she will have it, shots or not.  There are studies that claim to prove that immunization shots triggered autism in children, but there are just as many that are never publicized that prove the two are not linked.  Oh wait a minute! I forgot! She is an expert! She must have a minor she forget to mention in autism-spectrum disorders, in conjunction with the Immunizology WebMD Degree! Totally my Bad!

Okay, so back to dear ol' dad.  So registration is the day after tomorrow.  I asked him yesterday to ask his boss today if he could be like maybe an hour late for work, to go to Kindergarten registration.  When I asked him this evening if he had asked yet, he replied I have a job, I just can't leave whenever I want.  No duh dipshit. That is why your loving wifey has reminded you multiple times to ask for permission.  He has a very laid back boss, who would say yes, if he just asked.  It's not like he doesn't work open to close every single day, and goes in on his day off.  He works extra hours, works his day off, even is going out of town with his boss to tour the factory on his day off this week! So I pointed out to him that this was our last kid, and she only started school once in her life.  Not to mention I am going to be a blubbering mess and will need him.  Plus it probably will not take that long! Registration for her FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! EVER! MONUMENTAL EVENT!

Did I mention I will be a blubbering mess? A hot mess?  An I-am-so-not-ready for my baby to start school mess!  The uterus is closed, there will be no more baby making jumping of the bones during ovulation, when I have empty nest syndrome mess.  The this is it ya'll! mess.  The I cannot call my mommy anymore and cry to her, and hear her tell me it will be okay because she is with Jesus, all alone mess. Like the first, rip my heart out, of many more to come, rip my heart out momentous occasions, hot royal mess, mess.  The all alone-alone mess, because my MIL and hub do not want her to start school anyway, mess. A mess with a capital M mess. I popped her out of my hoochie girl mess, and am entitled to cry as much as I want to about her first day of school mess! Not my baby anymore, and the beginning of indoctrination mess! The friends are more important than mommy , growing up, end of our time together, mommy kisses don't fix boo boos anymore, mess! Hot, emotional, boo-hooing, wanna drink a couple bottles of wine, take a couple of xannies, eyes swollen shut ,wearing granny glasses after wearing icepacks overnight, so I can see to fill out the forms, official mommeh mess! Crying until I have snot pouring out of my nose, drool coming out of my mouth, sniffling, running through a whole roll of toilet paper, as I try to snuff all the snot back up into my nose, squeezing my kegel muscles, as I refuse to leave the window, in case my baby needs me stalker mode, as I imagine myself sitting outside her school the first day, stalking my kid through the classroom window. Yep, he soooooo doesn't get it. Only mommies get it!

So after a little verbal tussle over the phoney phone, and a return call to yours truly, wifey dear, he worked it out.  But still wanted to argue.  Growl. Down girl, down, inner leo-tigress, you won! Easy girl!

Two of My Favorite Bloggers And Their Brand New Mad Libs inspired Blog Hop

I found a new favorite blog hop, and I thought I would share!  Two of my favorite bloggers went together and are hosting a new mad- lib inspired blog hop! A new place to vent and have a little fun! So today I am sharing the love and sending you over to their pages for the first ever, Hop Lib Blog Hop! How fun! Go visit! Now! Here is the link First Ever Hop Lib Blog Hop . Below is my Hop Lib!

Here comes Carlos Courderoytail
splatting down the chicken trail
green hoppin`,
Easter`s on its way

Bringin` every frying pan and bacon
saucers full of Easter angry Things to make your Easter
pissed and aggravated
He`s got jelly beans for Raymond Colored pizza for sister Kelly There`s an roses for your mommy
And an Easter diaper too

Oh! here comes Carlos Courderoytail
jumping down the chicken trail
green hoppity,
empty Easter Day

Here comes Carlos Courderoytail
scooting down the chicken trail
green hoppin`,
Easter`s on its way

Try to do the things you should
Maybe if you`re extra gooey He`ll crawl lots of Easter chicken salad your way

You`ll wake up on Easter 3pm And you`ll know that he was there
When you find those cotton candy giraffes That he`s hiding everywhere

Oh! here comes Carlos Courderoytail
Hoppin` down the chicken trail
green hoppity, happy Easter Day
green hoppity, happy Easter Day


Happy Easter!