The Irrelevant Ex

Ever have one of those days when you can plainly see everyone else's hidden agenda? Yeah, and usually no one else will ever listen to you until way down the road, when something happens that makes the hidden agenda clear as a bell? Well this post is about an instance of foresight.  Clarity if you will. It's also going to be about relationships.  In my opinion, inappropriate relationships.
   So when your husband has an ex wife or two, both of whom he has kids with, they are to a certain extent, going to be in your lives.  At least until the kids turn eighteen. One could only hope that major contact ends at eighteen. 
  So the other day, I was scrolling through my facebook feed, when I saw a post by my mother in law.  I was looking at the comments on her post, getting ready to scroll on down to the next post, when I saw it.  The post from ex wifey number one.  Yes there are two for future reference.  She had commented in response to a comment left by my husband for his mother.  Teasing my husband.  This makes me crazy.  I can feel my blood pressure boiling.  How dare she!  They do not have a "relationship" so to speak, as she signed away custody of their only child together, to keep her new husband out of jail for child abuse, when the child was four.  So for the last sixteen years, she has only seen her child by my husbands good graces and out of concern for his daughter.  His family always took the child to see her mother, she never made an effort.  She had no legal rights what so ever. 
  A couple of weeks later, ex wifey #1 commented on a comment, in an A/B conversation between my husband and his daughter only.  Then  it happened again on my MIL's facebook page.  So, I pointed it out to dear old hubbie.  He said I was being ridiculous.  Then it happened again in a manner so flirty and ridiculous, he couldn't deny what was she was doing.  It was so blatantly obvious, that he pointed it out to the MIL, and she deleted the post altogether.
   What do you do when a totally irrelevant ex starts contacting your husband?  You stay calm, and point out to the husband what she is doing.  When that ex tries to get to know your husband/boyfriend again by facebook message, by reliving old times, after sending a friend request.  When they try to sneak back in by asking questions for a friend about their expertise or related specialty/line of work.   They will even send emails asking relationship and divorce advice on their current disastrous marriage/relationship.  Those late night calls asking why didn't we work out? How come you love her so much? What does she have that I don't?  They will try to get back in good with their former in laws.  What do you do?  You remain the calm one.  When you find the information above that I have just mentioned, you figure out a way to cut them off at the pass.  I kept my mouth shut until my husband fessed up, and when he did, I laid the guilt trip on him about what would our daughter think, if ex #1 told him that they had been chatting, and when our daughter mentioned it to me, I didn't know?  What would that say to our daughter?  Boom! Defriended.  The irrelevant ex did keep trying, however.  He now recognizes her ploys.  He sees her for the pathetic individual she actually is.  When she tried to email him, he sent her snarky emails, only answering her with vague euphemisms.  So she stopped emailing.   
   Then she more recently has started the facebook commenting.  Noting that everything is a coincidence.  You like chili?  It's your son's specialty? What a coincidence, It's my specialty too!  My son is making me, dear old mom, chili and having us over!  She comments with really? What a coincidence, I am making chili today too!  Whatever is missing in your life darling, your not finding it with my husband!  You missed that train a long time ago!  Please stop flirting with him.  It is inappropriate.  I am sorry that you have six more kids, after my daughter that you signed away, oh I am sorry, the oldest filed for emancipation after completing her probation for shoplifting.  Oh and she is a sweetheart.  No thanks to you.  She also got pregnant at 16, and just had a baby at 17.  Great job parenting there, old mother of the year.  Oh and it's not 5 kids anymore either, because the next daughter called CPS on your ass after dear old dad was inappropriately doing what?  While you were where?  And so that she is now a ward of the state.  And this is the child who doesn't want to go home so badly, that when they get ready to send her home, she makes up another  mental illness.  Smart girl this one.  Manipulative, oh and suspected pimping herself out to old men as well as shoplifting..  So where were we? Oh yes we are down to 4 kids, but wait there's more!  Kid #4 doesn't want to take care of kids 3, 2, and 1, so what does she do? Runs away repeatedly for days with a 21 year old, when she is only 14.  So what does dear old mom do you ask?  She says woe is me, and signs custody of this one over to the state as well.  I say don't pop them out if you cannot pay for them!  This is the same family, where daddy quit a $60,000+ a year salaried job, because it would affect their welfare, and food stamps.  Right.  A family where welfare is a way of life, and where the cycle perpetuates itself.  Then mom leaves dad, and she doesn't want CPS poking their nose in her business anymore, so she stops receiving welfare.  The 3 year old is starving.  She doesn't want CPS to pick up on the fact that she is a pot head, as well as dear old dad. 
   So that pretty much brings you up to speed.  The mom works two jobs, is trying to raise 3 kids on her own, has a new boyfriend, and has time to flirt with her ex husband.  Manipulative, stupid, trifling bitch, and a pathetic excuse for a mother and human being.  I am not even going into what she and her husband did to my oldest step daughter.  Notice how I say mine?  That's right she is mine, he is mine, and they will never be yours again.  So leave my family alone.  What you and the eldest daughter do to try to re-establish a never existent relationship is up to her.  If my MIL chooses to have you in her life, so be it.  Stop trying to get all buddy buddy with my husband.  He doesn't want any attention from you.  I do not want you contacting my family.  I am a lady, but I will kick your ass.   My husband and I have been together almost 15 years.  It was 21-22 years ago, get over it already.  So while I vent, and rant and rave in this post and keep from fussing at hubbie and seeming jealous, to get out my frustrations, I know, in my hearrt of hearts, that she is still the very irrelevant ex.

Welcome

Hi.  Welcome to The Vent Line.  As women, we all encounter certain ugly people or situations.  I was raised a lady, and was taught to hold my tongue.  Since I lost my mother, my sole confidante, I no longer have anyone to get it all out with. My mother always knew what to say, or when to get all up in arms for me about some thing that had happened. Sometimes I just feel the need to vent, with no where to go. Do you ever feel the need to vent about certain life happenings, and your Facebook has been taken hostage by the very people you need to vent about?  Ever encounter odd situations, and you just want to write a blog about it and because your whole family reads your blog, you can't?  Have those pesky older teenage kids, your husband's ex-wives, THAT Mother In Law, who make you crazy?  Have you ever run out of patience with your preschooler? Ever have anyone tell you that you are overreacting to an irritating situation, or say that you always get mad at so and so's negative comments, and then blow off the other person's ownership of the comments by saying "you know how she is!"?  I feel like sometimes I must watch everything I say in order not to offend someone. Ever just feel like venting? Well I do, and that, my dear readers, is what this blog is all about! Venting! Public, secret, soul cleansing, anonymous venting! It's my bubble, and the naysayers in my regular life cannot block my rainbows, rain on my parade, or negatively comment here! My free speech bubble! Feedback and fellow Vent Rants are welcome!  Down the line, I plan to have some guest -venters write for your enjoyoment as well! Happy Laughing!