Does anyone else out there have a work-a-holic husband? Well I do! I love him. I love that he works hard enough for our family, so that I get to stay home with my daughter. That is a luxury that few are afforded these days. But I am in Bit@# mode at the moment. I have asked for over a month, and reminded him that Kindergarten registration is coming up. I have reminded him of the date, and let him know in no uncertain terms, that he is expected to attend. His response is more like what I would expect to get if I asked him to build a gadget to shrink the moon, and get it for me, a la the movie, Despicable Me. Back to this argument in a few minutes.
He and his mother have been trying to convince me to home school my youngest child. She is the last one , the baby. They have been waging a war against me, including the immunization battle. The MIL even checked into paying for private school for said child, only to find it was akin to paying for breast implants! For kindergarten! So she scratched that idea! She dove me batshit crazy about the immunizations, until I called our pediatrician, and the health department to question if they could get the shots without mercury in them. She had heard, and read, and saw on tv, and , and, and out the wazoo, until she bestowed upon herself a degree from WebMD in immunizology! At the pediatrician's office, they had never even heard of such a thing. Or given that option from their supplier! Seriously MIL, you weren't such a hot shot as a mom, quit trying to micromanage my kid! So if I home school ,she doesn't have to have the shots, etc. ARGH! Good grief! Oh and I forgot one of the funniest things! She said that you want to take every precaution with the child, because when a child is already pre-dispositioned to having autism, you just wan t to be extra careful, and do everything you can to prevent it "happening". WTF? Seriously? If the good lord above meant for my child to have autism, then she will have it, shots or not. There are studies that claim to prove that immunization shots triggered autism in children, but there are just as many that are never publicized that prove the two are not linked. Oh wait a minute! I forgot! She is an expert! She must have a minor she forget to mention in autism-spectrum disorders, in conjunction with the Immunizology WebMD Degree! Totally my Bad!
Okay, so back to dear ol' dad. So registration is the day after tomorrow. I asked him yesterday to ask his boss today if he could be like maybe an hour late for work, to go to Kindergarten registration. When I asked him this evening if he had asked yet, he replied I have a job, I just can't leave whenever I want. No duh dipshit. That is why your loving wifey has reminded you multiple times to ask for permission. He has a very laid back boss, who would say yes, if he just asked. It's not like he doesn't work open to close every single day, and goes in on his day off. He works extra hours, works his day off, even is going out of town with his boss to tour the factory on his day off this week! So I pointed out to him that this was our last kid, and she only started school once in her life. Not to mention I am going to be a blubbering mess and will need him. Plus it probably will not take that long! Registration for her FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! EVER! MONUMENTAL EVENT!
Did I mention I will be a blubbering mess? A hot mess? An I-am-so-not-ready for my baby to start school mess! The uterus is closed, there will be no more baby making jumping of the bones during ovulation, when I have empty nest syndrome mess. The this is it ya'll! mess. The I cannot call my mommy anymore and cry to her, and hear her tell me it will be okay because she is with Jesus, all alone mess. Like the first, rip my heart out, of many more to come, rip my heart out momentous occasions, hot royal mess, mess. The all alone-alone mess, because my MIL and hub do not want her to start school anyway, mess. A mess with a capital M mess. I popped her out of my hoochie girl mess, and am entitled to cry as much as I want to about her first day of school mess! Not my baby anymore, and the beginning of indoctrination mess! The friends are more important than mommy , growing up, end of our time together, mommy kisses don't fix boo boos anymore, mess! Hot, emotional, boo-hooing, wanna drink a couple bottles of wine, take a couple of xannies, eyes swollen shut ,wearing granny glasses after wearing icepacks overnight, so I can see to fill out the forms, official mommeh mess! Crying until I have snot pouring out of my nose, drool coming out of my mouth, sniffling, running through a whole roll of toilet paper, as I try to snuff all the snot back up into my nose, squeezing my kegel muscles, as I refuse to leave the window, in case my baby needs me stalker mode, as I imagine myself sitting outside her school the first day, stalking my kid through the classroom window. Yep, he soooooo doesn't get it. Only mommies get it!
So after a little verbal tussle over the phoney phone, and a return call to yours truly, wifey dear, he worked it out. But still wanted to argue. Growl. Down girl, down, inner leo-tigress, you won! Easy girl!
